Dear Jehovah's Witnesses

One expression I heard thousands of times as one of Jehovah's Witnesses was simply this:

"Friends..."

From the platform it might sound like this:

"Friends, let's turn to our opening song."

Or,

"Friends, we're so happy you're here today."

It's a warm expression. It creates a feeling of belonging. It reminds everyone that they are part of one large spiritual family. In fact, the Watchtower often emphasizes the value of Christian friendships. One recent study article says:

"The friendships we seek to cultivate with our brothers and sisters are not casual or superficial. Rather, they are meaningful and deep."

Another reminds readers:

"A true friend is ready to help, especially during 'times of distress.'"

Those are beautiful sentiments.

More importantly, they are thoroughly biblical.

The Bible says:

"A true friend shows love at all times, and is a brother who is born for times of distress." — Proverbs 17:17

And again:

"There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." — Proverbs 18:24

The apostle Paul instructed Christians:

"Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely." — Colossians 3:13

Jesus raised the standard even higher when he said:

"No one has love greater than this, that someone should surrender his life in behalf of his friends." — John 15:13

Notice what these passages have in common.

• None of them define friendship by attending the same meetings.
• None define it by belonging to the same organization.
• Instead, friendship is measured by sacrifice, loyalty, generosity, compassion, and practical help.

James put it another way:

"If a brother or a sister is lacking clothing and enough food for the day, yet one of you says to them, 'Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,' but you do not give them what they need for their body, of what benefit is it?" — James 2:15-16

The Bible consistently teaches that genuine love is demonstrated by actions, not merely by words.

My wife knows of a sister in our local congregation whose air conditioner stopped working during the intense summer heat in Reno, where temperatures often climb to nearly 100 degrees. Now this woman lives alone she has no husband. She recently became unemployed.

Several brothers in the congregation own heating and air-conditioning businesses. They have the training, the equipment, and the expertise to help.

Did they volunteer to repair it because she was their sister; their friend? Did they just give her a bill for just the parts they used?

Last time she had a brother fix her air conditioner. It cost her over $2000. This is the bill she got from her "friend".

I don't begrudge anyone earning a living. Scripture says a worker deserves his wages.

But it made me stop and ask an uncomfortable question.

What practical difference did their friendship make?

• If friendship never requires sacrifice...
• If it never costs us anything...
• If it looks exactly the same as an ordinary business transaction...

Is it really friendship?

Or is it simply friendliness?

There is an important difference.

Friendly people smile.

Friends show up.

Friendly people greet you at the Kingdom Hall.

Friends rearrange their schedules when you're hurting.

Friendly people ask, "How are you?"

Friends stay until the job is finished.

That is the example Jesus set.

He didn't merely speak kindly to people. He washed feet, fed hungry crowds, healed lepers, comforted grieving families.

He gave of himself until there was nothing left to give.

That is biblical friendship.

This isn't to suggest that Jehovah's Witnesses are insincere. But if your friendship, if you're familial relationship with your brothers and sisters carries no weight, what good is it?

I have no doubt at all that if this person needing the air conditioner fixed was a circuit overseer, or prominent elder in the area. The brothers would be stumbling over themselves to see who would get the privilege of repairing the broken machine.

But kindness and friendliness, valuable as they are, are not always the same as biblical friendship.

Perhaps each of us should occasionally ask ourselves:

If someone looked only at my actions—not my words—would they conclude that I am merely friendly...or that I am truly a friend?